One of my college roommates worked part time in the psychology lab, training white rats.  They were pretty amazing creatures and could be trained to do just about anything for the proper reward, which was typically a tasty piece of grain.  Over and over again she would work with them until they were ready to be the special guests in the classroom.  Since our psyc professor was a behaviorist himself, he routinely related to us his philosophies of what we could learn about people by observing and experimenting with the rats.  Rewarding good rat behavior with grain was balanced by withholding grain for bad rat behavior. 

Sometimes I think of those rats when I hear “child training” experts talk and it makes me really uncomfortable, since children are image bearers of the living God and rats are not. While behaviorist principles work to elicit proper behavior, they are not what it takes to see hearts that are turned toward the Lord. 

A few months ago I heard a counselor discussing some of the common problems she sees in students who talk with her.  This woman works at a Christian college where a high number of homeschooled students attend so her remarks were of great interest to me.  She told us that the single most significant concern she has is that many students have an inability to forgive others.  She elaborated on this and has concluded that what is at the root of the problem is an impotent concept of grace.  She shared with us that the young people she talks with have head knowledge of what grace is and they can give all the standard Christian dictionary definitions of it.  But they have little understanding of what grace looks like in terms of relationships, both between one another and between them and God. 

I found myself wondering what practical grace looks like in the typical home and especially as it comes from mothers who homeschool their children.  My conclusion is that it is living a life of grace that essentially results in children who have become disciples rather than children who simply follow the rules.  And it is learned by example as we become disciples ourselves. 

How did Jesus make disciples?  He was concerned with the heart issues and He knew what they were because He spent time with those who followed Him.  He spoke the truth but made it understandable by telling stories and parables.  He shared their joyous times but also wept with them when they grieved.  He brushed aside the conventions of the day to spend time with those who had ears to hear.  He practiced the truth that with God there is no partiality (Galatians 3:28).  His admonishment to Martha that Mary had chosen the better way (Luke 10:38) is a lesson for us all that knowing Jesus and who He is takes precedence over the things of this world.  And his harshest words of rebuke were for the religious leaders of the day who chose to place their preferential demands on others instead of encouraging others, through word and deed, to embrace God’s grace. 

In Luke 14:25-35, Jesus warns us that true discipleship is costly.  Discipleship demands total sacrifice and complete reliance on the grace of God.  And herein lies the key as to why homeschooling mothers, I believe, can be the most effective disciplemakers and teachers of grace.  We have the privilege of spending endless hours with our children.  We have the opportunities day in and day out to demonstrate gentleness and grace to them and to others, giving them a picture of how God relates to us.  Our children will listen to us because they see, through a living example, that we have sacrificially chosen to be with them and have made our relationships, with Jesus and with them, a priority over everything else.  As we show them the joy of living a life of grace and service, they will soon learn how to love both God and man.  And isn’t that the definition of a disciple? 

“Grace is love that cares and stoops and rescues.”  John R.W. Stott

copyright 2007