Yesterday our son Clayton and his wife Stacie lost their precious baby boy, Calvin Lewis Campbell.  In the Lord’s providence, He saw fit to take this little one to heaven before I could hold him or get to know him.

Please keep all of us in your prayers, especially in the next few days as this little one is laid to rest.  Our hearts are broken but we can say “Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

  “I have been the mother of seven children, the most beautiful and most loved of whom lies buried near my Cincinnati residence. It was at his dying bed and at his grave that I learned what a poor slave mother may feel when her child is torn away from her. In those depths of sorrow which seemed to me immeasurable, it was my only prayer to God that such anguish might not be suffered in vain….those of us who are mothers cannot help but be touched by the suffering of mothers and children….but I believe that God, in His providence, has included these sufferings in our lives as part of his plan A so that we might be ble to more effectively minister to other moms who also bear these burdens.”  Listen here to this week’s podcast entitled Understanding God’s Purpose for Suffering from the life of Harriet Beecher Stowe.

One of the interesting things that Stinnett and DeFrain discovered as they studied the common traits of strong families, is that these families tended to have a faith in God that provided them with the freedom of rejoicing in God’s sovereignty during the trials of life and the peace that comes as you face them together.

At the time my dad passed away, our home had four bedrooms and our older, teen-aged boys shared one while the three who were six and under shared another one.  My mom was unable to live on her own and we decided that she ought to move in with us, which meant that all five boys were going to have to share one bedroom so that Grandma could have her own room.

We were so proud of our older sons because they were so willing to offer their room to Grandma. They went to work, painting the room light blue, her favorite color, and replacing their own treasures with things from her house that would make her feel welcome. We were impressed with how they tolerated the inconvenience of little ones sharing their space and how helpful they were in putting little brothers to bed and caring for them in the night.  

In looking back to that time, we really had no idea how long of a commitment we were making or what other challenges it might bring.  However, we knew, and our children knew, that the Lord had a plan for all of us.  Now, 13 years later, we can all say that Grandma has been an important part of our lives and we all continue to benefit from her presence here.

I have met many homeschooling families who have gone through times of tremendous crisis and, in retrospect, can share awesome stories of God’s faithfulness to them.  Rather than seeing homeschooling as having school in their homes, these families see it as part of God’s plan to teach them, together, many things they might not otherwise have learned.

A while back I read a book called When Life and Beliefs Collide and in it, author Carolyn Custis James, makes this profound statement:  “If God is sovereign, then plan B is a myth.  No matter how dark things look to us, or how big the mess we’re in, we’re in plan A.  God’s plan for us is intact, proceeding exactly as He intended, neither behind nor ahead, but right on schedule.  Nothing, not our sins, failures, disappointments, bad decisions, nor the sins of others against us, can deter a sovereign God from accomplishing His purposes.”

Not long after I read those words and the Lord had used them to give me strength and encouragement during some pretty dark hours of disappointment in my own life, I heard the news reports of three mountain climbers who were stranded on Mt. Hood. I was immediately drawn to these words of hope, thinking “no plan B,” when I realized that one of the climbers on that mountain, Kelly James, the one whose body was eventually found, was the brother-in-law of Carolyn, who penned those very words.  Just knowing that God had prepared her, by teaching her this truth, both to be able to face her own grief and to equip her to minister to her own husband as well as the families who still had loved ones on that mountain, gave me further encouragement in my own life.

As a homeschooling mom, I have realized that everything, ultimately, is outside of my own control.  I have learned that the unique circumstances that happen in my family have occurred because God’s plan is so much bigger than my own.  It is knowing this truth about God and in experiencing that truth with those in my home that has enabled us to face past challenges and that will prepare us for all those difficulties that still lie before us.

I can remember, early on, actually thinking that if only we homeschooled our children, we could circumvent all the problems that face the average family.  How arrogant that was of me and how naïve! The very reason, I believe, that God called us to homeschool our children, in the first place, was so that He could have His way in my life, leading me and all of us through His plan A, and ultimately giving us the freedom and peace to trust Him.
 
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?  As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Romans 8:35-39

 Copyright 2007
 

  “Today I am featuring two women who used their unique gifts and talents to bring encouragement to those who were suffering terribly at the hands of others.  These dear ladies brought not only a cup of cold water but Living Water, the message of Jesus Christ, to those who needed to hear it.  Through their simple acts of kindness and compassion, these two women performed deeds that changed the lives of those under their care and are an example of Godly Christian womanhood, true womanhood, at its finest.”  Listen here for this week’s podcast entitled  “Mary Anne and Gladys:  Two Women Called by God to Bring Encouragement to Those in Need”

before I was.

Several years ago we enjoyed a glorious celebration of our 30th anniversary……several days at The Drake Hotel in downtown Chicago, an evening at the Lyric Opera of Chicago listening to Puccini’s Tosca , lunch one day at Rick Bayless’s Frontera Grill, a day at the Chicago Art Institute, the surprising and beautiful gift of an anniversary ring.

We spent alot of time laughing and sharing stories, remembering the details of meeting in Dr. Ryder’s Puritan literature class, of the fierce blizzard that came during our wedding, of learning what it means to be a mom and dad, talking of where we will be in the next 30 years, relishing God’s goodness to us in all of our life together.

At that time, there were 6 children and nearly 6 grandbabies.  Putting it all into perspective, I began rewinding, in my mind, “Clay and Karen: The Early Years.” Those first few years were challenging…we moved alot, eventually living in Germany, me having babies and Clay jumping out of airplanes with 10th Special Forces. It was the best of times, the worst of times.

So, I was thinking, wondering what I wish I had known that would have been helpful. Here is my top ten list:

10. Husbands like to fix things, stuff in the house as well as stuff in my life. If I had wanted someone to commiserate with me about feeling fat or having a bad hair day, I should have kept my college roommate. A husband will never take you to Baskin-Robbins to listen to you drown your cellulite troubles in a triple dip Rocky Road sugar cone. Husbands do not understand that your bad hair can be fixed by browsing through Nordstrom’s online shoe department.

9. Husbands don’t want to watch girl movies or anything where Johnny Depp looks dreamy. He will promise to take you to a girl movie, however, and when you get there you find out that Star Wars is now a girl movie because there are girl aliens on the starship.

8. Husbands don’t need to own red shoes, they don’t understand that every day is a good day when you are stepping out in red shoes.

7. Husbands think a perfect meal is lasagna, cheesecake, and salad topped with finely grated parmesan cheese. Husbands like cholesterol.

6. Husbands are not born with the inward knowledge that a woman’s hormonal balance is directly related to the amount of chocolate she consumes. This they must learn.

5. Husbands think that the statement “We need to get these boys ready for bed” means “These boys need to watch a few episodes of The Three Stooges and then wrestle to get ready for bed.

4. Husbands are not from Mars or Venus afterall. They are from Best Buy.

3. Husbands need a territory, a place to conquer, and wives need a home.

2. Husbands need to be honored and adored. Wives need to be cherished. Husbands will know they are honored when their wives tell them every day that they are the best. Wives will know they are cherished when they are helped with the dishes, vacuuming, and diapering. This is not rocket science.

And, the number one thing I wish I had known about being married before I was….

Husbands and wives are both gifts to each other from God, made in His image and declared righteous by His perfect sacrifice. Christian husbands and wives are to “one another” each other. In so doing, we fulfill the law of God and are obedient to Him. When both a husband and wife purpose, by God’s grace to love and serve each other, marriage becomes a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love to His bride, the Church. It is a simple, perfect plan.

I live in a neighborhood where there are lots of skateboarders. Unfortunately. Day in and day out, late into the evening, we often contend with dozens of adolescent boys doing various Tony Hawk wannabee gymnastics in our street.

These boys have their own uniform of sorts….knee length cut-offs and t-shirts sporting logos such as “Osiris” or “Acme”, and skateboarder shoes that are somewhat like tennis shoes only wider and, as I understand it, much more flexible for performing.

Now, besides the ones who actually do these testosterone-laden stunts, there are a few boys who show up with the right clothes, the newest boards, and the best shoes. They can even talk the lingo…..ollie, nollie, half-pipe, grind, etc. However, they are known as posers, guys who talk the talk, dress the part, but who are not the real thing.

Those of us who only observe from a distance do not know any better and assume they are all boarders. Sure, the posers will learn to balance on their boards and even skate around, but they do not really qualify as skateboarders. And, this is very important, those who are genuine boarders know the difference and secretly they make fun of those who only show up and “pose” with their boards.

One of the reasons that the Church today is so ineffective in much of our culture is that it is full of posers. I am not going so far as to say that they aren’t really Christians; only God is able to discern the human heart. But there are far too many people who profess Christianity, who have been through all the right Bible studies, can quote all the right verses, can sing all the right hymns and praise choruses, have attended all the right conferences, have jot and tittled themselves right into ineffectiveness, and have missed entirely the purposes for which we are called as believers.

But for what have we been called?

In John 13:35, Jesus tells us that “by this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” Indeed, Jesus said that the two greatest commandments were to love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.

The Pharisees did not understand this. To them, religion was all about a list of rules, about obeying men who had set themselves up as keepers of others’ spirituality. It was not about a relationship with God, through Jesus. It was not about a relationship with other people. The Pharisees where posers, the ones who looked religious to the outside world but who did not know that being a believer was measured by God according to how to they treated others.  In Matthew 23:27 Jesus even warned them saying “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.”

Moms, there are plenty of posers within homeschooling circles.  They have their own agendas, their own interpretations of God’s word, their own philosophies that are toxic to genuine faith and will entice you to go down paths of destruction that may take years to repair.  I want to encourage you to be wise as you seek out other homeschoolers for encouragement and fellowship.  Be selective about what materials or resources you employ in your homes, holding up everything to the pure light of the Word of God.  Be certain that what is marketed as “biblical truth” is, in fact, just that and not some man’s attempts and remaking you and your family over into his image. 

Lord, today, help me, as a homeschooling mom, to not be a poser. Help me to willingly set aside all the manmade rules and regulations that have governed my life, those weights that I carry that are not a part of who You are, and give me genuine love for others in both word and deed. Amen.

“Jesus used His most severe language on the religious leaders of His time, the scribes and Pharisees. They read the Scriptures, attended worship, gave a tithe, were separated from the world, led moral lives, and sought to win others to their faith. So may one do all these things today and still not know the Lord. Our Lord dealt gently with the woman taken in adultery, though He did not condone her sin. He called one tax collector to be a disciple and ate in the home of Zacchaeus. These people were outcasts in the eyes of the religious leaders, yet Jesus said to those leaders, “the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you.” (Matthew 21:31). Nothing is more despicable in His sight than hypocrisy, play-acting, presenting an image of righteousness without reality. This is form without force…everything in the show window but nothing in the shelves.”   Vance Havner

“copyright 2007

  “Well, according to other accounts, I am, we all are, at risk if we have chosen to give our lives to homeschooling our children….Wouldn’t you rather protect yourself against adversity and enjoy the rewards of work, money and success?  Why should you settle for less?  However, we as homeschooling moms are risking everything for the sake of the truth of the Gospel message and what that message can mean to America!”  Listen here for this week’s podcast entitled Moms of Hope from Balitmore, 1812.

Are you wondering about your daughters and what God has called them to do after your homeschooling years?

We have a great discussion going on at our True Womanhood blog and you are all invited.  At the center of the discussion is the book So Much More by the Botkin sisters.

Recalling, once again, the Stinnett-DeFries research on what makes strong families, I want to conclude my commentary on their insights into the importance of spiritual health in family life with a series of entries that look at life in the local church as it affects homeschooling families.

We began homeschooling decades ago and in an area of the country where quite a few people had never heard of homeschooling.  As a matter of fact, when we began homeschooling, there was only one other family in our entire county who also homeschooled, and a year after we began, they moved away!

There were some pretty lonely times back then as we set on a course that was unfamiliar to us as well as to clerks in the grocery store and family and friends.  However, the loneliest place of all was at church.  It isn’t that we attended a bad church.  On the contrary, by all the usual standards, this was a good church. The leadership subscribed to the authority of Scripture.  The pastor preached from the word of God, evangelism and missions were priorities, and there were any number of youth activities and programs from which to choose. 

However, our greatest desire was to build a discipleship relationship with our own children and so we soon saw the need to pull back from church activities and responsibilities in order to have the time to pursue our own family priorities.  Because of this, we became suspect and even my own children were ostracized, one of the low points being when the wife of one of the elders took my daughter aside and told her she hoped that “your parents will come to their senses in time for you to attend your prom!”

That was then.  Today, as I survey the church landscape, I would imagine that almost every church has a homeschooling family or two among its membership.  Beyond that, there are family-integrated or home discipleship churches popping up all over the country, many of them catering to the preferences of homeschoolers and their desire for fellowship.   Since most homeschoolers feel the freedom to participate or not in their churches, many are content to remain in a traditional church environment.  Others gravitate toward homeschooler-only congregations.  So how do you know what it right for your family?

Since our own family has fellowshipped and worshipped in all of these types of churches, I would like to share what I believe to be true about choosing a healthy church environment for your family. For the record, we are part of the church family of Bethany Baptist Church in Peoria, Illinois.

The first thing to consider is that, as Nick Stinnett points out in his book based on his research called Fantastic Families, a family that has a healthy spiritual life, receives 6 blessings: 

1.) a shared purpose or meaning
2.) guidelines for living
3.) freedom and peace
4.) a positive, confident outlook
5.) support from like-minded people
6.) access to the power of God

Let’s look at these one at a time. 

Strong homeschooling families share a common purpose and meaning to life.  They seek to one another each other, daily and deliberately.  They work toward both common goals and for the goals of individuals within the family.  Christian homeschoolers share the process of fulfilling the great commission, ie, to love God with all your heart, soul, and mind and to love your neighbor as yourself.  They demonstrate this as they experience spiritual growth and as they extend their outreach to others, both within and outside the body of Christ. 

Homeschooling families own a multi-generational perspective that drives how they choose to spend their time and invest their resources.  They seek to build each other up in the faith and nuture everyone, from the youngest to the oldest, including elderly family members. They desire to see the gifts and callings of each family member nourished and blossomed in anticipation of future fruit.

So this begs the question…does your church support your goals of healthy spiritual living?    Does it equip your family to fulfill the great commission? Is there a strong emphasis on teaching the word?  Does your pastor preach exegetically, ie, drawing out the true meaning from the text or does he practice eisegesis, which is the process of interpreting a text so as to introduce his own personal preferences and ideas?  Is there an emphasis on one anothering each other, both parents and children alike?  Does it prepare you to present the Gospel message to others? 

Think about it and next time we will look at the guidelines for living that can be a great blessing or a curse for a homeschooling family!

Copyright 2007

To go along with today’s podcast, I though I would mention that you can find a delicious collection of original Harvey House recipes as prepared in the world famous Harvey Houses from Chicago to San Francisco in The Harvey House Cookbook ~ Memories of Dining Along the Santa Fe Railroad by George H. Foster and Peter C. Weiglin.  Since fresh beef and chicken were plentiful in Harvey Houses, I have included some of my favorite main dish recipes for you to try.  These are my own tried and true versions of some of the Harvey House menu items and will please any cowboy or train traveler in your midst! 

Sunday Pot Roast

1 4-5 pound rump roast ( or two 2-3 lb.)
2 TBS. minced garlic
1 pkg. Lipton onion soup mix
1 can Golden Mushroom soup
1 lb. fresh or canned sliced mushrooms
1 lb. carrots, peeled and sliced
Freshly ground pepper
Place meat in crock pot and cover with remaining ingredients.
Cook on high for 4-5 hours or low for 7-8, depending on how well done you like your roast beef.
Remove from pan and thicken liquid.  Serve with mashed potatoes.

Chicken Enchiladas

3 pounds cooked chicken, chopped or shredded
1 c. finely chopped onion
2 can cream of chicken soup (can use cream of celery or make your own white sauce)
1 can green chilies, seeds removed
10 flour tortillas
2 cans Southwest Cheese soup, mixed with 1 can milk
8 oz. shredded Monterey jack cheese
Mix first 4 ingredients well and fill tortillas.  Put thin layer of cheese sauce on bottom of pan and top with tortillas.  Pour rest of sauce on top and sprinkle with shredded cheese.  Bake for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.  Serve with sour cream, salsa, chips, beans and rice, or whatever Mexican food your family loves.

Oven Fried Chicken

Fryer, cut up, or chicken breasts with skin
Salt and pepper to taste
1 cup flour
¼ lb. melted butter
Oil for bottom of pan

Roll chicken in flour and brown in hot oil in roasting pan.  When gold brown, brush with melted butter, sprinkle with salt and papper and bake in 350 degree oven until tender, about 1 hour.  The Harvey girls served this delicious dish with spiced peaches on the side!