Just a quick note about the July 11th podcast. As we are heading out of town for the much-anticipated wedding of one of the most lovely of homeschooled daughters, we decided to add a couple days on to our trip for museum-perusing, and lomein noodle-munching. This leaves us no time for podcast recording before we leave so I am bumping the podcast schedule ahead a week. Sorry for any inconvenience.

“Some people expect almost infinite wisdom in a child before they can believe him to be the subject of divine grace. This is monstrous. Then, again, if a believing child should act like a child, some of the fathers of the last generation judged that he could not be converted, as if conversion to Christ added twenty years to our age. Of course, the young convert must not play anymore, nor talk in his own childish fashion, or the seniors would be shocked. It was a sort of understood thing that as soon as a child was converted, he was to turn into an old man!

“I never could see anything in Scripture to support this theory. However, Scripture was not so much cared for as the judgment of the deeply experienced people, along with the general opinion that it was well to summer and winter all converts before admitting them into the sacred enclosures of the church. Now, if any of you still have an idea in your head hostile to the conversion of children, try to get rid of it, for it is wrong as wrong can be. If there were two inquirers before me now, a child and a man, and I received from each the same testimony, I should have no more right to distrust the child than to suspect the man. In fact, if suspicion must come in anywhere, it ought rather to be exercised towards the adult than in reference to the child, who is far less likely to be guilty of hypocrisy than the man, and far less likely to have borrowed his words and phrases. Anyway, learn from the Master’s words that you are not to try to make the child like yourself, but you are to be transformed until you yourself are like the child.”

Charles H. Spurgeon in Feed My Sheep

my grandma circa 1910

The other day, one of my friends told me about running in his first marathon. He had trained for this event and hoped to at least finish the race. He said that he had run about 12 miles when he just knew he was never going to be able to go on, that each step required incredible exertion as he struggled to just put one foot in front of the other one.

At that point, he looked up and happened to see a tall man standing on the side of the road and as he got closer he could hear him screaming “You are awesome! What a tremendous job you are doing! Look how strong you are! You are almost finished!” My friend said that as he passed this stranger and heard him holler the same words of encouragement to him, he got a rush of adrenalin that propelled him forward, enabling him to finish the race.

I was thinking of that story as I considered the type of encouragement that young girls need to grow into strong, healthy, and vibrant women who reflect the glory of God in their lives. They need encouragers that assure them that the race isn’t so long that they won’t make it. They need voices that tell them that they are strong and that they are moving along at the right pace. They need to hear that they will finish and that there is no competition, that they only need to be concerned about being where the Lord would have them be. In essence, they need role-models and mentors.

As I was growing up, I had mixed signals hitting my adolescent antenna that caused me to be conflicted about many things. I wanted to be able to sing like Aretha Franklin, have hair like Ali McGraw, which for me meant sleeping with my hair wrapped around orange juice cans to make it straight, and to dress like Peggy Lipton’s Mod Squad character. I wanted a boyfriend like Redford’s Butch Cassidy but a husband one day like Sheriff Andy Taylor, always kind, exceedingly wise, and a patient listener with children. And woven throughout all these images was the very strong influence of my grandmother who was to me, and still is, the picture of godly womanhood. I understand how confusing this age of life can be and the confusion only grows with the number of voices who tell you what to do.

Our secular culture provides a cornucopia of mixed messages for young women when it comes to positive role models. Top choices right now, according to the media elite, include Oprah Winfrey, Clare Danes, and Rachel McAdams, all women who, though they may be philanthropic, have led immoral lifestyles. We are told that they are better examples than Brittney Spears or Paris Hilton, the self-professed role models for young girls, but in reality are they? All present a godless worldview that produces the same kind of fruit….girls who believe they can never measure up, girls who long for happy ever after, girls who think that happy means being famous, beautiful, rich, or powerful. And current statistics show that by the time a little girl enters kindergarten, she will have seen 5,000 television shows and 80,000 ads, all telling her the same thing.

Just as troubling, on the other end of the spectrum, self-professed movement homeschoolers have their own teen celebrities who, while presenting themselves as better examples of godly womanhood, in reality, are teaching many of the same lessons to our daughters. As offensive as this might seem, let’s compare those messages:

1. The secular world has chosen young single women to teach our daughters what is important and to set the standards for femininity and beauty through certain clothing and hair styles, interests, and life choices. They have become the spokeswomen for an entire generation of daughters who want what they have.

Movement homeschoolers have established their own icons who are also beautiful young single women who have a certain look and who live lifestyles that cannot be attained by ordinary young women, lifestyles that require money and connections that most girls cannot have. This often leads to lack of contentment and frustration.

In contrast, the Bible clearly says that “the older women are to teach the younger women” (Titus 2) and to “keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

2. Contemporary secular role models wear clothing designed to sexually attract men. Young men in our culture are trained to think of a certain body type or hair style or look as “sexy” and therefore appealing and current styles are always pushing the envelope, encouraging girls to become more brazen in their attire. Someone outside that air-brushed persona does not have the same sex appeal, she just isn’t “hott.” The physical is the most important.

At the other end of the spectrum we have an emphasis on feminine dress that covers women from head to toe, dressing in styles either from a by-gone era or in the lace and ruffles usually reserved for little girls. Clicking on “modest clothing” on certain blogs often takes you to Civil War reenactment or regency era costumes. They, too, have established a standard for women that has placed much emphasis on the physical and dressing is also done for men, whether to keep them from lusting or to fulfill a fantasy.

Homeschooling icons have been established that identify only certain personality types as being appealing to men and young men are taught that quiet and meek girls are the only godly standard, as, for example, Voddie Baucham’s teachings to sons. These views alienate girls who are vivacious and outgoing or natural leaders, causing them to pursue becoming something that they are not and even denying certain gifts that God has given to them.

In both circles, appealing to a man’s standard of womanhood is central. Scripture, on the other hand, tells us that women are to concentrate on their inner beauty rather than on their outward adornment. Women are also to be meek and quiet in spirit, coming to an acceptance of the unique personality and gifts that God has given to them and not fighting against God’s perfect creation of them. (1 Peter 3) (Listen here for a more detailed discussion of this topic.)

3. The role models in our secular culture love the media attention and are quick to flaunt their personal stories that nearly always involve love and romance. Celebrity couples like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are featured every week in nearly one magazine or another. Young girls are trained at an early age to admire these famous people and magazines and television shows for young teens offer intimate details of even very young stars. The message is sent that life could not ever be worthwhile without a love interest and life-long commitment is rarely if ever mentioned outside of the obituaries of elderly movie stars.

In movement homeschooling circles, young girls are given the Elsie Dinsmore books and encouraged to think of themselves as junior helpmeets to their fathers, giving their dads their hearts, and attending purity balls with their fathers. As they grow older, they imitate Jane Austin characters, imagining themselves being prejudiced or prideful, whichever seems appropriate at the time in their quest for the perfect Mr. Darcy. And while Austen books are ok, the constant quest for marriage and the manipulation used to do it not causing any consternation, Janette Oake books are off limits because those heroines are strong and independent. In these groups, parents hand their daughters a Botkin book or take them to an online courtship website where they learn that in order to be normative they must marry. They go through their own courtship process and then tell their own stories to inspire even younger girls, a perfect cycle of multi-generational voyeurism and exhibitionism. The gift of marriage is made an idol, not unlike the secular counterpart’s idolatry of moonlight and roses.

Again the admonition of Scripture is quite different from either of these extremes. While marriage and family is revered, it is never central to the Gospel message. Jesus warned us in Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father” and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.” Of course we know Jesus wasn’t telling us to hate our families, but rather to put Him and His will for our lives ahead of our own selfish desires, including those for relationships.

And the women in the Bible are never commended for their homemaking or raising babies. Once when Jesus was preaching, a woman called out to him and said “Blessed is the womb that bore You, and the breasts which nursed You!” But Jesus replied “More than that, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it!” (Luke 11) Jesus also failed to praise Martha for her homemaking skills, instead admonishing her that Mary had chosen the better way to spend her time, sitting at Jesus’ feet and learning His ways. (Luke 10)

I would like to suggest that mentors and role models for our homeschooled daughters be women who have given their lives in service to the Lord in a variety of ways, whether it is in their homes as wives and moms, as single or married women on the mission field, or wherever the Lord has called them. Our daughters ought to read the stories of both single and married women and also the biographies of great men of the faith. They need to meet, in real life, godly older men and women who have been blessed by their willingness to put Jesus Christ first.

I also think that good role models for our daughters should be older women who share some of the same gifts, abilities, and life situations that our daughters have. I think of Mary going to see Elizabeth during their times of confinement. What a blessing that Elizabeth must have been to this young frightened girl and what an encouragement they must have been to each other.

We also must inspire our daughters, both in word and deed, that as they admire and even emulate these servants, they must put their faith in Jesus and in Him alone, not in a paradigm, a program, a lifestyle, or another person. I often think of that dear woman we read about in Luke 8 who had suffered for 12 years with a discharge of blood. She was considered unclean in that culture and was destitute because she had spent all the money she had seeking help from various physicians. The Bible tells us that she could not be healed by any of these people but she had faith that Jesus could heal her. So she slipped through the crowd, touching only the hem of his garment and the bleeding stopped immediately. Jesus felt His power go out from him and asked who had done it. No one would own up to it so the woman, now humbled, desperate, and frightened, kneeled before him and declared in His presence that it was Jesus who had healed her. Jesus looked at this woman, and I imagine it was with such a face of compassion, and said “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” She was now His own daughter. She had been given the gift of faith in Christ alone and could now live in peace.

Only when our own precious daughters can place their faith in Christ alone, becoming His daughters, and will follow His ways rather than the way of man will they be able to live in peace as they become women made for His glory alone.

Announcing the thatmom first-ever contest winners:

Tulip Girl and Michelle!

Congratulations! Coming to you will be a copy of Sallie Clarkson’s The Mission of Motherhood, the Campbell Women Cookbook, and a handmade apron!

Ladies, I will be sending you an e-mail and all you need to do is reply with a snail mail address!

“I have ended up as a pretty relaxed homeschooling mom and as many other homeschooling moms also realize, we do tend to be less intense as time goes on. If I could do it all over knowing what I know now, I would have taken more down time to just lay down in the grass and make daisy chains.” Listen here to this week’s podcast entitled Top Ten List of Those Things I Would Absolutely Do Again As A Homeschooling Mom.

“Are you telling me that grandma used to actually sleep with these in her hair? You have GOT to be kidding!”

We have been studying World War 2 the past few months and don’t think I will ever be the same as an America since understanding the sacrifice and resolve it took to preserve the freedoms God has given to us. Have a blessed 4th of July!

Independence Day Celebration in Centre Square, Philadelphia, a depiction of the celebrations of July 4th 1819, painted in 1819 by John Lewis Krimmel, a German-American immigrant.

Mollie’s post on ice cream inspired me to bring out the ice cream freezer and fire it up, err, cool it down, or whatever. I have enough for 3 gallons chilling in the fridge in anticipation of 4th of July company tomorrow and perhaps a taste treat before then. I will leave some of it as old-fashioned vanilla and provide candy toppings alongside. To the rest I will add strawberries or pureed peaches that are now arriving in our stores fresh from Southern Illinois. Yummmmmm! Perhaps they will even be served with sparklers!

Ice cream recipes first appear in 18th century England and America. A recipe for ice cream was published in Mrs. Mary Eales’s Receipts in 1718:

“To ice CREAM. Take Tin Ice-Pots, fill them with any Sort of Cream you like, either plain or sweeten’d, or Fruit in it; shut your Pots very close; to six Pots you must allow eighteen or twenty Pound of Ice, breaking the Ice very small; there will be some great Pieces, which lay at the Bottom and Top: You must have a Pail, and lay some Straw at the Bottom; then lay in your Ice, and put in amongst it a Pound of Bay-Salt; set in your Pots of Cream, and lay Ice and Salt between every Pot, that they may not touch; but the Ice must lie round them on every Side; lay a good deal of Ice on the Top, cover the Pail with Straw, set it in a Cellar where no Sun or Light comes, it will be froze in four Hours, but it may stand longer; than take it out just as you use it; hold it in your Hand and it will slip out. When you wou’d freeze any Sort of Fruit, either Cherries, Rasberries, Currants, or Strawberries, fill your Tin-Pots with the Fruit, but as hollow as you can; put to them Lemmonade, made with Spring-Water and Lemmon-Juice sweeten’d; put enough in the Pots to make the Fruit hang together, and put them in Ice as you do Cream.”

Here is much simpler and more fun-for-the-kids way to make ice cream this weekend. This is for one individual serving of Ice Cream in a Bag.

To a quart size heavy duty Ziploc bag add the following:

3 TBS. sugar
1 cup heavy or light cream (half and half will do)
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Seal and place that bag in a one gallon heavy duty Ziploc bag. Layer ice and rock salt on the gallon bag and seal.

Toss the bag back and forth for about 10 minutes and you will have the best ice cream ever.

Enjoy!!