thatmom

real encouragement for real homeschooling moms

on being a mother ~ mother’s day part 2

The hall was empty as people began to enter quietly and gaze at the Bosendorfer piano, the only instrument on the simple stage. The richness of the walnut wood on the walls and enveloping the platform gave the room a special warmth. The lights came up in the west doorway and a beautiful young lady in a ball gown entered and bowed. As the crisp melodic phrases of Mozart danced off of her fingertips, my heart swelled with pride and a sense of the awesome God who created this child, choosing her as His own before the foundations of the world, and giving her life in my womb.

I remember finding out that I was going to be a mother for the very first time. Just finishing my student teaching at a Christian college and being unmarried, I felt alone, helpless, embarrassed, and terribly frightened. Clay and I hoped to one day marry, but this certainly wasn’t part of the plan we had made for ourselves at the time.

During the first few weeks of December that year, I began to consider all my options. I had no money, no job, and no church family in which to confide. My best friends didn’t even know the lifestyle I had chosen to live and I thought I could never tell them. Worst of all, I dreaded telling my parents, knowing it would break their hearts. I remember thinking that no one had to know; I could end the pregnancy and start my life all over again. In desperation, I called the local hospital to ask the cost of an abortion. I spent many hours crying, holding my tummy, and both loving and hating that little one inside of me.

Finally, I called a pastor who had led a Bible study I had attended during one summer and asked if I could speak with him. I poured out my story; the tears of repentance began to flow as he very gently talked to me about God’s forgiveness and the fact that this child was a gift from Him. I left his office, knowing there was a plan for both of our lives.

As the days went by, the desire to mother this child, a tiny little person I had already pictured as a daughter, began to take over. Secretly I called her “Mollie” and pictured her as having dark brown hair like her father and freckles like me. I saw myself dressing her in pink and walking her in a buggy to the park near where I lived. Clay and I began to plan a simple wedding. We thought surely things would all work out for the best.

Christmas came and went, with me going home, not having the courage to face my mom and dad in person. I finally called them and they were wonderful, encouraging me and telling me how much they loved me. But Clay faced another sort of response. While some in his family were supportive, there were those who absolutely insisted that we abort our child. After endless hours of talking with them, wanting them to support our decision, we finally decided that we had to do the right thing, trusting that they would one day understand. And of course, all it took was one look at an adorable baby to change their hearts!

Sometimes I am in utter awe of all that the Lord has done in our lives, at the grace He has poured out to us. I remember once standing along the Pacific Ocean and imagining how much water there was. That is how I see God’s grace….infinite, beyond measure, something that cannot be contained or even held briefly in my hand. In the nearly 33 years since my daughter was born, God has so graciously given me the love and companionship of a wonderful man, my best friend and confident, my brother in Christ and my lover. He has given me the gift of being a mother to six of the most amazing children. And He has blessed me with the precious treasure of grandchildren. He has given me all of that, in spite of my rebellion. But the greatest gift He has given to me has been the gift of eternal life, the promise that while I am yet a sinner, Christ loved me and gave Himself for me.

According to recent research, 250,000 women who profess to be evangelical Christians each year choose to abort their children. That means that 5.6 million women in our churches have chosen abortion as their only option! How many more are struggling for the same reasons I was…guilt, shame, fear, loneliness? I know of the depth of God’s grace to those who have strayed from His righteousness. I love to tell the story of how God, having a plan for my life and for my daughter’s life as well, chose us, sought us, bought us both with a great price, the life of His only begotten Son, that we might have eternal life with Him.

This year as I celebrate Mother’s Day, I will be praying for those mothers who are carrying babies that they didn’t plan and that they don’t really want. They may be married or unmarried, but they are in a time of crisis. They may be Christians or they may be so far from Jesus that they cannot even begin to comprehend the wonder of His mercy. I will pray that each of these moms will know the joy I have found in Him as has been so beautifully written:

“My only comfort in life and death is that I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; indeed all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by His Holy Spirit he also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for Him.” ~ Heildelberg Catechism, 1563

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11 Comments»

  Julie wrote @

Thank you sharing, Karen. I have tears running down my face. My story is almost identical to yours. Golly, I sure wish someday we can meet for a cup of coffee!!!!

  TulipGirl wrote @

*tears, again*

  Lin wrote @

Wow! Thanks so much for this. You have been so blessed.

  Carrie H wrote @

I have heard the story before…it still amazes me.
Also amazing, the similarty between you and Mollie. I had to look twice at the picture.

  Lynn wrote @

Karen, thanks for sharing your testimony of God’s grace in your life. This is the first time I’d read this. Your story is a wonderful example of transparency that brings us to the cross and the grace of God, and I hope and pray that God directs multiplied thousands who need to hear these words to this very post of yours.

  thatmom wrote @

Thank you all for the kind words. God is good.

  thatmom wrote @

Carrie,

How nice to hear from you! How are your little ones? Mollie keeps me posted from time to time.

Mollie told me that she showed that picture to Henry who swore up and down that it was Mollie and Lola. I have some pix of Mollie and Lola to post that are amazing in their likeness.

  TulipGirl wrote @

Yes, that picture of you and Mollie immediately made me think of Mollie and Lola.

  mollie wrote @

🙂

  Susan T wrote @

Praise God! What an amazing story. I didn’t know. When we are weak, God is strong. And when you share your story, it is so encouraging. Thank you!

  day after mother’s day « thatmom wrote @

[…] for Mother’s Day in 2007. The second is to what I shared about my own mom last year and the third is what I wrote about my own experience as a first time mom. I hope someone finds encouragement and blessings by my […]


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